How Tarantino talks his way through his films

A Facebook friend wrote on my wall the other day: "I am a regular reader of your column, sometimes basing my decision of watching a movie solely on your reviews. Would you care to share your judgment of Tarantino's pulp fiction? i think it is wayyyy tooo overr.."

Well, unfortunately, you picked the wrong guy. I happen to be a HUGE Tarantino fan. And I will tell you why. Because of Pulp Fiction. Of course, I love the manic brutality of Reservoir Dogs, the biting charm of Jackie Brown, the comic book violence of Kill Bill and the lap dance of Death Proof. But what really sums up QT for me is the yapfest of Pulp Fiction.

I recently went to a screenwriting workshop and my instructor there was a really knowledgable guy (and a filmmaker) and he helped me clear a lot of issues with my script. Now, one thing he told me that I totally disagree with is that when two characters talk, the topic has to have a direct motivation to the plot. It was in Pulp Fiction where Tarantino showed us that the dialogues might not have anything to do with the plot. When two assassins discuss European burgers and the metric system, what has it got to do with the film? But then when you think of Jules and Vincent, the thing you remember the most is Royale with cheese. Because that is what makes the film.

The more the characters yap, yap, yap, the more they become characters. It's not without reason that one of the taglines of Pulp Fiction was Just because you are a character doesn't mean you have character! When Inglourious Basterds premiered in Cannes, all the critics went that there was too much of talk and very little action. But then the trailer very clearly told you "You ain't seen war if you haven't seen it through the eyes of Quentin Tarantino." And that is Tarantino - he talks his way through a film. That's his style. That's what makes him what he is today. Just because he made Kill Bill, doesn't mean that all his action films would have fountains of blood spewing out of beheaded basterds.

Forget what I think, the great critic Roger Ebert, my absolutest favourite movie man around, writes in his Inglourious Basterds review: "Immediately after Pulp Fiction played at Cannes, QT asked me what I thought. 'It’s either the best film of the year or the worst film,' I said. I hardly knew what the hell had happened to me. The answer was: the best film. Tarantino films have a way of growing on you. It’s not enough to see them once."

Watch Pulp Fiction again my friend, after a few days, and let it win you over. Honestly, you don't have a chance against it. 

Here's a few of my favourite lines from Pulp Fiction which have nothing to do with the plot. I want you to tell me which one is your favourite...

Jimmie: I don't need you to tell me how fucking good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys shit. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It ain't the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead nigger in my garage.

Jules: Well, the way they make shows is, they make one show. That show's called a pilot. Then they show that show to the people who make shows, and on the strength of that one show they decide if they're going to make more shows. Some pilots get picked and become television programs. Some don't, become nothing. She starred in one of the ones that became nothing. 

Vincent: Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.
Jules: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces.
Vincent: How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces.
Jules: I don't eat dog either.
Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.
Vincent: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?
Jules: Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charming motherfuckin' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?  

Captain Koons: The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any slopes gonna put their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you. [This one did set the watch up and does have a bearing on the plot]

Trudi: You know how they use that gun to pierce your ears? They don't use that when they pierce your nipples, do they?
Jody: Forget that gun. That gun goes against the entire idea behind piercing. All of my piercings, sixteen places on my body, all of them done with a needle. Five in each ear, one through the nipple on my left breast, one through my right nostril, one through my left eyebrow, one in my lip, one in my clit... and I wear a stud in my tongue.
Vincent: Excuse me, but I was just wondering... why do you wear a stud in your tongue?
Jody: It's a sex thing.

Vincent: All right. Well, you can walk into a movie theater in Amsterdam and buy a beer. And I don't mean just like in no paper cup, I'm talking about a glass of beer. And in Paris, you can buy a beer at McDonald's. Know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? 

Jules: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese? 

Vincent: Naw, man, they got the metric system, they wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is. 

Jules: What do they call it? 

Vincent: They call it a "Royale with Cheese". 

Jules: "Royale with Cheese"? 

Vincent: That's right. 

Jules: What do they call a Big Mac? 

Vincent: A Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it " Le Big Mac". 

Jules: Le Big Mac. What do they call a Whopper? 

Vincent: I don't know, I didn't go in a Burger King.